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As some may know, and I have volunteered at The One Ring Dot Net‘s Oscar Party for two years.

Heather and I were stage managers last year, and last year when some staff members and other volunteers didn’t pull their weight, we ended up basically running the main stage. We didn’t complain because we were there to work and appreciate a job well done. This over-working did not lead to the demise of my fandom, it just weighs in.

This year, we were assigned very light duties (due to our predicament last year).

And three guesses what happened with this year’s party.

Yep, other volunteers and/or staff fell down on their duties and we once again did stage managing for the entire Oscar party broadcast.

After the telecast, we went to the VIP tent to relax, and maybe catch some snaps of the famous folk as they arrived and/or mingled, yeah?

So this is the VIP tent, where everyone is supposed to be VIPs and be professional.

So when the stars start showing up, everyone crowds around the tent opening and the path to the VIP room within the tent (where the stars will be sequestered before they go onstage)

There is pushing and shoving, and when Elijah and Dom come in and go by, the looks of terror on their faces as they scuttle to the VIP tent break my heart, and the surrounding of them by the “VIPs” who look to be friends of staff and other volunteers force things into perspective and undeniable focus.

And my mind snaps.

“What the hell am I doing here?” “This is not me, anymore, was it ever?”

I had to go, I had to get out, I was sickened to my very core.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not chastising fandom for any fans out there, I’m not producing judgment (that’s not my bag, baby.)

But it’s not for me.

The cult of celebrity and fandom is such a bizarre creature – I mean, I would have loved to chat with Elijah (you know, or have sex with him because he is so fucking cute), or have a discussion with PJ – but in a friendly manner – these are just people! No one special, just people.

Contingency has placed them in a position where they are admired by many, worshipped by some and I don’t understand it.

So why am I here? To catch a glimpse of Dominic Monahan so I can know for sure he’s real? To get a pic so I can post it on the interweb and say “yeah, I was there?” It’s really not that big of a deal to me

I mean; I fucking love Lord of the Rings. As a novel it really helped me with it’s philosophy on sacrifice and humility; it tickled my lust for language and mythic theme.

And I have liked the movies a great deal – not to say there are quite a few decisions I am very unhappy with, still on a whole they have brought the themes and feeling of the book to life for many fans.

But to be a fan of a person who was in a movie made of a book I like seems like too much diffusion and distance to be fanatical about.

I can’t get excited by the aspect of “meeting” Peter Jackson – unless it is as a peer, or as a friend – you know, to meet and say hi and have a chat.

But PJ is just a director – he’s not special (intrinsically) – in his field, yes, etc.

So It is broken down to this:

We are all special – there is just as cool and talented and special a person in your own town who has no celebrity. And you can meet them, talk to them, collaborate with them.

Celebrity has no monopoly on talent or charm; (not that celebrity rules this out, I’m not nay saying that either). I just realize that talent doesn’t make you famous. Charm does not bring you celebrity. Contingency brings you fame.

And I cannot bring myself to put any sort of value or respect to contingency. It just is.

And in that moment when this went through my brain, standing there as a frightened Elijah walked past, this came into clarity with such force, and with such contrast with my physicality there, I was broken.

Poor Heather had to succumb to my whim and my momentary mental difficulties in joining me in leaving at once.

We just left. No goodie bag, no goodbyes to people we met, I needed out. I was not this fan person anymore – I was just going through the motions, and at my age and position I have no time in my life for spending attention, money, or interest on anything that I have indifference to.

So I realized that I was a walking corpse, disconnected, alone. I felt like Frodo back in the Shire – I was at “home” in L.A., feeling oh so far away.

I have a strange history of finding phrases and words that sound interesting to me stick in my head. These usually have some sort of lingustic je nais se quios that appeal to my ear.

Often times I’ll refer to them as “good band names.” Some of my past examples of silliness are:

Foetid Wheeze (I think I got to this from “Feta Cheese”)
Stumble Puppy
Dirt Merchant (can’t remember if I thought it up, or heard it somewhere)

My newest ‘discovery?’

“Fudge Thunder.”

You’re welcome.

ok and other network-interested people, I had a great idea while riding public transport. Someone may have already had this idea, or maybe not. I don’t care if anyone takes it and runs with it either, I don’t need any rights to it, so here I also release the idea to the Public Domain:

Many people have mp3 players, many people use them in public.

My Idea: add wireless networking to an Mp3 player. Heck, with the craven self-aware market Apple has, they can do it to the iPod. (I would buy one and ignore that worthless typeface if they did)

What’s the big deal, do you ask? Here’s the new killer app:

Wireless “internet” radio. That’s right. With your wireless iPod, you could choose to “broadcast” your playlist. If I see you on the subway/pub transit and you have an iPod, I could scan with my iPod to see if you are broadcasting and listen to your playlist, or you could do the same to mine.

Think about the fun you could have with your friends, their iPods, and your own mix!

Why leave the mood-setting music so carefully picked out at your home gathering there when you all decide to go about the town? Load your tunes on your iPod, share out the stream to your friends, and continue the playlist on the way to the city center.

You could also share other information as well if interested

the future of P2P may be very personal.

My Brain hurts.

Ok, I rented a tux for this weekend ( and I are working TheOneRing.Net‘s Oscar party again this year) so that’s set – She just needs to get a dress and we’ll be off. Leaving Friday night, then I’ll be back on Monday.

is staying in LA with my sister, and then they are going to Paris and London for three weeks, so I’ll be all by my lonesome (almost, see below) if anyone wants to entertain me. 😀

We also have a freind visiting for a bit, so I’m not all by myself.

I think I want to start on the TikiRoom next week. I guess I had better price out the raw materials and get them ordered.

I hate my work, they suck (default bitch there)

Here’s hopoing for and oscar sweep for our good friend PJ! Eglerio Tolkienath par ambar-metta!

New band dujour: The Darkness.

Yes, I know they will rot my teeth. Yes I know they are likely a joke. I don’t care. They fukkin’ rule. Queen and Cheap Trick have cross bred and they’re playing AC/DC.

And who doesn’t love space aliens, or gorpy lean lead singers who wear little clothing? I know I do! Check out the videos, Peter Frampton comes alive again!

So I’m playing with the idea of a built bar.

There is a closet in the 9×13 foot room (about 3×3) that could be setup for a sink – that means wetbar. I’d like a bar near it, so i wondered what that might look like (along with the iea of Tapa cloth, dark bamboo chair rail, high dark herring-thatch wainscotting on the walls and dark louver shutters on the windows).

Heather had the idea of a diagonal bar across the corner, to take up less room, then I thought perhaps an L shapre or curved – the curved is more difficult of course.

So My mum came last weekend and we had fun, I’ve mentioned the cheesecake.

Our number 1 priority here is a party, and with that we ned our new Tiki Room up. We’ve been working on ideas and plans for it – last night I did a quick sketch idea of the walls and placement of the bar in the room (the bar location will likely change a bit, H has a different I idea so I need to sketch that out.)
As soon as I get my scanner hooked up I can scan in my silly little concept sketch for all to see (where did I pack that damn power cable?)

Also, My friend devin’s Bday is today and we are going out tomorrow night instead of tonight, so that frees up tonight!

So Portland/Vancouver freinds, What’s going on tonight?! Anyone want to get-together? Karaoke? Movies? , I can feel that hot tub calling to me… 😉 heh!

I made the best cheesecake I ever have this weekend.

More later. 😀

Pixar Dumps Disney!

I guess it won’t be pixar who saves Disney from their second dark age.

Couldn’t find patch cable for guitar, picked up crap (but working one), guitar came through move OK. I picked up a stand before the move and it works nicely. Now I have the Geetar and hand’s grasp right next to this laptop. Hehehe

I just need to find someone to teach me now. Music is not new to me, bet electic geetars are. Time to hit craig’s list or some music stores for lessons, I suppose.

Still, anyone in the PDX area know someone who would like to show some licks to a n00b?

brought me a beer – 4:00 and [slighty] working tipsy. Shh. don’t tell the boss.