Egg Nog

I like my Egg Nog thick.

To make thick egg nog, retailers use their cheap-ass Ice Cream tricks of seaweed gelatin, super stable thickeners. Yuck.
Thickening is the whole point of adding the eggs (as well as their richness, and titular position). Cooking the egg-containing mixture both makes them safe for the paranoid and denatures the proteins to make custard. MMMMMMMMMM. Custard.

If you like a thinner eggnog or if you are a cooking weakling, do not heat your eggs.

If you have made a fresh custard, stovetop creme brulee, or are brave and want to cook like I do (who wouldn’t?) follow my cooking directions.
take your meds before following the cooking directions and have plenty of time and patience. 😉

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6 Eggs (or 5 Eggs and 3 Egg Yolks)
1 Cup Sugar (or Vanilla Sugar*)
1 Quart ½ & ½
1 Quart Whole Milk
½ Cup (4 oz) Dark Rum
½ Cup (4 oz) Bourbon
½ Cup (4 oz) Brandy
Fresh Grated Nutmeg

Step 3 below is the optional cooking maneuver to make a thicker (more delicious) Egg Nog.

1. Cream the Sugar and eggs [place eggs in large mixing bowl, break and lightly mix the egg mixture. Add the cup of Sugar and beat with either a baloon whisk or elecric beaters until the mixture has turned lemony-yellow and is smooth and creamy]
2. Whisk or beat in the milk and ½ and ½ into the mixture
3. Transfer the mixture to a 4 qt pot and start on low temp.
3.a While heating, continuously stir mixture.
3.b After minute or so, bring temp to medium heat
3.c When the mixture steams nicely (and reaches about 170 degrees) remove from heat. BE PATIENT :).
4. Add the spirits to the mixture and whisk to encorporate
5. Grate plenty of Nutmeg into the mixture.
6. Transfer Egg Nog to sealable container and refridgerate for at least 2 hours before enjoying.

To serve:

Pour Egg Nog into wide-brimmed punch-mug and liberally dust with freshly grated nutmeg. Enjoy.

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* To make Vanilla sugar, score and cut a fresh vanilla pod into pieces. In an air-tight container, add vanilla pod and at least 4 cups of sugar. It will take about 2 weeks for the vanilla to completely scent the sugar. If you are in a hurry, you can scrape the seeds from the pod and pulse with some of the sugar in a food processor. When you take sugar out of the container, add the same amount back to the container. The Vanilla pod will continue to scent the sugar for six months. This is delicious on fruit, toast, and in recipes where you would normally use sugar + Vanilla extract. I like to just smell mine — Heaven.