Ok my turn with 101:
1. I have battled my weight all my life
2. Before I met/dated heather, I never thought I could be desireable or loved.
3. I really was ok and resigned to this romantic fate.
4. After being at leat 30-40 lbs overweight all my life, I came down to ~195lbs in the spring of 1993.
5. I slowly gained it all back and more to about 260 lbs in January of this year.
6. I have changed my relationship with food and exercise and with heather am back on the path of healthfulness.
7. My goal is to be back to ~190lbs by end-of-year.
8. I am currently at ~223
9. I have a strange combination of an inferiority complex and delusions of grandeur.
10. I have learned to let myself be honest about to whom I am attracted.
11. Heather was the first person other than myself to know I was also attracted to men.
12. I never was in a quandry whetner I was straight, gay or bi, but:
13. It took a long time for me to think that I could *love* another man: I thought it was only about attraction and sex.
14. Heather was my first sexual relationship.
15. A roomate of ours was my first same-sex sexual experience
16. This made me realize that not only in theory did I love sex with another man.
17. For some strange reason, I rejected his further advances (which were always when Heather was not present)
18. He stopped making advances.
19. He was at the same time making advances on Heather
20. This led to a quandry that saw him no longer being our roomate and H and I on shaky ground.
21. He no longer speaks to either of us.
22. I realized too late that I also loved him.
23. I greatly regret the lack of communication during the difficulties
24. I am still sad and regretful about the whole affair and think fondly of him.
25. I think I am not assertive enough
26. Until very recently I have had no decent close straight male friends.
27. And I’m not entire sure about the few I do have
28. I’m sad I cannot be myself around them because of homophobia
29. I’m thinking of telling one of them I’m bi.
30. He has told me some personal things (not sexual) and I think he’ll be ok with it.
31. I fucking hate labels, yet I label myself.
32. I enjoy recursive humor, wordplay, paradox, and pontification
33. I am pretentious, but I only want to impress myself
34. I adore ritual and show
35. I like make-up, but dislike “girly” girls.
36. I like girls who can wrestle me, work hard physically beside me, then clean up, dress up, and go out dancing (preferably in a gay club)
37. I have broad shoulders and a “body-builder” base physique.
38. I can easily put on muscle mass
39. I dislike 37-38 and want to be a waifish twink.
40. I have come to realize I will never accomplish 39.
41. I used to only be attracted to men that were waifish twinks
42. I took a break from this and had dinner, saw a movie (about a boy), and slept. It is now the morning.
43. I bite my nails
44. I am a very figity person. My hands always need to be doing something.
45. I am a strong atheist as well as a metaphisical naturalist and skeptic.
46. Though I try to treat everyone I know with dignity and respect, I have a tough time with those who are big believers in supernaturalism or “alternative” medicines.
47. I have 5 computers at home, running the following OSes, (2) XP Pro, 1 W2k Server, 1 w2k Pro, 1 RedHat Linux 7.1
48. I need to build another computer by Christmas, which would bring the total to 6.
49. I have never gotten over growing up ~7 blocks from Disneyland and going there extremely often – My life has to be as magical and fantastical.
50. Our house has theme rooms (which strangely match Disneyland areas): We have the Jungle room (Bedroom), Tiki room, Pirate Room (in disarray, Laundry room), The only expeption is the Glamour room, which is themed but has no Disney counterpart.
51. I have a strong draw toward strong figures that have created modern mythology (Tolkien, Disney, etc.)
52. I play (in order of accomplishment): Recorder, Piano, Tin Whistle, Guitar, Fretted Dulcimer.
53. I love Classical music, but get picky when it is later than the Romantic Era.
54. I like Beethoven, but don’t ‘get’ why he is revered.
55. I adore Bach and other masters of counterpuntalism — His largest critisim is that his music is too “Cerebral”
56. I have been accused as well as being too “Cerebral”
57. I still don’t ‘get’ anime, though I try — I like certain specific movies I have seen, but find the majority I have seen are too poor quality animation (in terms of realism or consitency) for me to enjoy visceraly.
58. I am always trying to destroy pre-conceived notions I have, and continue to try to enjoy things I previously have not (certain food, anime, music, etc.)
59. I have a strange fear of abandonment and hate to be ‘left out’ of anything.
60. I grew up in Southern California – moved to Norther California when I was 24
61. I will be 30 this year.
62. I just realized I have been spotty at puting periods at the end of these sentences, and also realised that some of these sentances are probably fragments.
63. I have a penchant for liking the sound of certain words and using them when I can’t think of a word, or spout them just for fun.
64. Some of these words have been Chicken, Cheese, Chocolate, and Monkey.
65. I am sensitive and have easily bruised feelings.
66. I have gotten much better at not letting 65 bother or affect me too much.
67. Though I haven’t much liked my body, I do strangely adore my feet and calves.
68. And yet I am not a foot fetishist.
69. I really like (good quality) porn.
70. I’m so liberal, I don’t “believe” in crime or such a thing as a “criminal mind,” except to say if there is such a thing, we are all “criminals.”
71. I am lazy and procrastinatory
72. I’ve been working on #71 as well.
73. I wish there were more open homoeroticsm in our culture – the same level as the forced eroticism of the female figure and female sexuality.
74. I’d like men to be as exploited for their sexuality as women (thank you, internet!).
75. I believe that the only commonality that any humans share is that we are all complete individuals.
76. I feel betrayed and sad when someone I know abandons rational thought about a topic due to emotions (for an extended period of time).
77. I feel the current executive administration is the worst in terms of talent and knowledge that I have ever witnessed before.
78. I have serious reservations about maintaining american citizenship.
79. I sometimes feel like a german intellectual in 1934 Germany.
80. I want to cover up the ‘B’ in every stupid “God Bless America” sign I see so they will all say “God less america.”
81. I am ashamed to be American.
82. I have not done any of this (except in my head) becaise I am a staunch supporter of the 1st ammendment.
83. Many people say they support the 1st ammendment, but few display this in practice.
84. I don’t know what group I dislike more, Huge moral-lacking corporations, or those who hate them because it is a way to fit into a group they want to be part of.
85. I don’t want people to agree with me, I want them to have informed opinions.
86. I’m always ready to change my mind considering new evidence.
87. I love stong flavours and can’t abide blandness.
88. I have a flair for cooking ( I like to think).
89. I come off as conceited.
90. I’m trying to figure out how to fix #89, at least the perception part.
91. I’m constantly working on my social skills.
92. I’m a good listener.
93. I’m not a good talker (about myslef and my feelings) except aroung a certain few people.
94. I don’t understand the peculiar American institution of intellectual=undesireable.
95. I despise how people treat children like a separate species instead of a small, inexperienced human.
96. I don’t think we need to “protect” children from anything (that isn’t abuse).
97. I now realize #96 begs the definiton of abuse, so if you remove the parenthetical, I also believe that.
98. I despise modern or pop country music.
99. I’ll take a BlowJob over any other sexual act.
100. Giving them ain’t half bad either.
101. Looking back at the amount of Sexual items in this list, I see it shows I am a complete horndog. (I already knew that, of course.)
Am I done already?